Sunday, April 28, 2013

Spring is in the air!


It’s nearly May and some stubborn patches of snow that have not succumbed to the spring thaw still remain in our yard.  It’s probably not for a lack of trying, but these mounds of dirty white snow are unlucky enough to be in perpetual shade, so they’re always the last to ebb away.

The long winter, or late spring, seems to be a topic of conversation everywhere.  I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all had enough and the reality of warmer, sunny weather is a real morale booster.   I was picking up a package at the Sears catalogue counter on Friday evening and the Sears employee was practically bursting at the seams waiting to tell me that she had taken off her cardigan sweater.  Not in a creepy way ... she was just so excited that it was actually warm enough to need to remove the cardigan!  I reciprocated her excitement and shared with her that I was out and about without socks in my shoes.

There are certain sights and smells to spring that I love.  I work in downtown Winnipeg, in one of the buildings at the iconic corner of Portage & Main.  You know it’s spring when the hot dog vendors are out on the corner and you smell the BBq’s firing up and the smokies cooking.  Last week we had some precipitation (wet snow), and the distinct smell of wet cement that you only smell when it rains in spring or summer hit me and I knew we were getting close (even though it was still just wet snow). 

When the mercury climbs, more people are out and about.  No need to bundle up and stay indoors; now is the time to start getting out into the fresh air.  I did see an interesting sight the other day ... I saw an older couple and the lady had an odd hat on her greying, dirty-blonde shoulder-length hair.  As I walked past, I realized it wasn’t a hat as I had thought, but a short brown woman’s wig or a man’s toupee.   I'm fairly certain that’s not a new look for spring or a new fad, at least I hope not!  I guess it was too warm for a toque, but cool enough to warrant some sort of covering on the head.

I don’t, however, like that period of time when the snow starts to melt until it warms a bit and the green starts to emerge through the brown.  I’m not a fan of the brown.  My youngest son once said that if he could, he would move away at springtime, to get away from the “snirt”, but would come back when everything was green again.  “Snirt”, as I learned from my son, is that brown, gritty stuff left behind at the end of winter; a combination of “snow” and “dirt”.

The sun was shining earlier this morning, but the clouds have moved over again.    This past Friday we (Winnipeg) hit our highest temperature since October.   It was a beautiful day and the temperature was actually in the mid-teens.  But 6 months is a long time to be out in the cold.  I never used to think that I was one of those people who were affected emotionally by a lack of sunlight, but as I grow older, I think I feel it more.  I find it interesting that the acronym for “Sunlight Affective Disorder” is SAD, because that’s sort of how I feel when the sun is behind the clouds.

I’m glad spring is finally emerging.   I don’t want to be SAD anymore.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

The Not-So-Great Depression

It was reported recently that well-known pastor Rick Warren’s son died as a result of suicide. Matthew Warren was 27, and had battled mental illness for most of his young life. In the weeks following Matthew Warren's death, I’ve seen a number of blog articles about Christians and depression/mental illness, and what the Church’s response and involvement should (ideally) be. I found one article written by Ann Voskamp that particularly had an impact on me and caused me to think back on our own church experiences. Her article is a letter to the Church, and in it she tells the Church what she wishes they would say to the hurting.

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/04/what-christians-need-to-know-about-mental-health/

We left the organized church we had been attending over 10 years ago. There were a number of reasons for our exodus, but they included the response by the church to my husband’s major depression. The church we attended believed if you prayed more, if you read your Bible more, if you prophesied more, if you worshiped more, if you ministered more, [insert any other “spiritual” action here and do more of it] that was all that was necessary to achieve healing and wholeness.   News flash: Telling a depressed person they’re not good enough and need to do more, is like walking them up to the top of a cliff and pushing them over. Not helpful.

While we were still at that church, I was blessed to be a part of a small women’s group who studied the book “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian. In that group, I felt loved and accepted, encouraged and bolstered. These women knew our story, and stood with me to support me as I was on my knees in prayer for my husband. At that time, those weekly morning times with those women were life to me.

I wish there had been some men in the church who, in the same way, had come alongside my husband to accept and encourage him. I wish there had been men who would have made the big commitment (and it is a big commitment) to stand with my husband in the pit of despair, and to walk alongside on better days. All through my husband’s struggle with depression, the unspoken message he has heard so often was that he wasn’t worth the investment.

I struggle writing this because I want to share some of my experience, but I don’t want to condemn or judge anyone in that church for what they did not do. I want to write these things to encourage the Church.  It's easy to love the loveable.  Loving someone who struggles with mental illness is hard.  It is a commitment of time and energy; it is being the hands and feet of Jesus to the suffering.

I like what Ann Voskamp says in her article,
“Jesus came for the sick, not for the smug. Jesus came as doctor and He makes miracles happen through medicine and when the church isn’t for the suffering, then the Church isn’t for Christ.”
“There’s no guilt in mental illness because depression is a kind of cancer that attacks the mind. You don’t shame cancer, you treat cancer. You don’t treat those with hurting insides as less than. You get them the most treatment.”

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. 
Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.    John 13:34

 ... let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.   1 John 3:18