I’ve written before about my husband Eric and his trudging through life with depression. According to dictionary.com, "trudging" is a blend of "tread" and "drudge", which I guess could then be defined as the hard work of walking. Because Eric has been living with depression on a daily basis for so much of his
life, I don't know that he is even sure what life without depression would be like or feel like.
Circumstances keep challenging his emotional well-being. Actually, life in general challenges his
emotional well-being. He’s working
really hard to try and make ends meet financially for our family, but as the
saying goes, “Just when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the
ends.”
Last week the truck was in the shop for another major repair,
so he was home for the week. I’m not
going to lie ... I love having my husband at home, but I kind of like it when
he’s gone too. The house stays so much
neater.
One of the best things we did when he was home was
sit down and talk to each other about where he was at emotionally, how we
were doing with it and how we could help each other in the midst of it. That’s a positive
exercise to do any time, but it was really helpful for us to talk like this
at the beginning of his time at home. Nothing
was left to stew and marinade in sour juices for days and days, the product of misunderstood expectations.
The key thing that Eric told me was, “I need to
know you’re with me.” It was a good
reminder for me. I often just assume
that he knows it, after all I’m pretty sure our wedding vows covered this kind
of thing ... “in sickness and in health, whether rich or poor ...” I know I'm committed to him, no matter what comes our way, but speaking words of life and love and faithfulness out loud have power.
So lately I’ve made a conscious effort to
speak the words out loud to Eric. “I’m
with you.” We’re in this thing called life
together, and even when it’s tough slugging, I’m not going to bail. “I’m with you.”
Another has made that vow to us as well. And in those times when I do struggle with being
there for Eric, I know that the Almighty is there for me.
Isaiah 41:10:
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I
will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
Matthew
28:20:
... And be sure of this: I am with you always, even
to the end of the age.
