I’m with you.

I’ve written before about my husband Eric and his trudging through life with depression.  According to dictionary.com, "trudging" is a blend of "tread" and "drudge", which I guess could then be defined as the hard work of walking.  Because Eric has been living with depression on a daily basis for so much of his life, I don't know that he is even sure what life without depression would be like or feel like.

Circumstances keep challenging his emotional well-being.  Actually, life in general challenges his emotional well-being.  He’s working really hard to try and make ends meet financially for our family, but as the saying goes, “Just when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.” 

Last week the truck was in the shop for another major repair, so he was home for the week.  I’m not going to lie ... I love having my husband at home, but I kind of like it when he’s gone too.  The house stays so much neater.

 

One of the best things we did when he was home was sit down and talk to each other about where he was at emotionally, how we were doing with it and how we could help each other in the midst of it.  That’s a positive exercise to do any time, but it was really helpful for us to talk like this at the beginning of his time at home.  Nothing was left to stew and marinade in sour juices for days and days, the product of misunderstood expectations.

The key thing that Eric told me was, “I need to know you’re with me.”  It was a good reminder for me.  I often just assume that he knows it, after all I’m pretty sure our wedding vows covered this kind of thing ... “in sickness and in health, whether rich or poor ...”   I know I'm committed to him, no matter what comes our way, but speaking words of life and love and faithfulness out loud have power.

So lately I’ve made a conscious effort to speak the words out loud to Eric.  “I’m with you.”  We’re in this thing called life together, and even when it’s tough slugging, I’m not going to bail.  “I’m with you.”

Another has made that vow to us as well.  And in those times when I do struggle with being there for Eric, I know that the Almighty is there for me.

Isaiah 41:10:

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.

    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you.

    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Matthew 28:20:

... And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.