Life sucks. God is good. The end. Part II. (Or … Always Pray. Never Give Up.)

I wrote my previous post on December 9, 2015, entitled "Life sucks. God is good. The end" and two weeks later, my husband was terminated from his job.  Life sucks.   Today, February 1, 2016, was his first day of a new job.  God is good.  The end.

Much has happened in the six weeks between termination and re-activation.  As I look back at how everything unfolded, I can see how God has been orchestrating and preparing us for the situations we found ourselves in.

God had already been planting seeds for change in both of us.  Eric was hoping to get out of the truck so he could be home more with the family.  He had been thinking of selling the truck and working in a completely different field, possibly even back into sales.

For me, I was having to adjust to having my husband home again.  All the time.  Every day.  I love him, but my grace has a limit.  I needed to know that if he was going to be home, all the time, that he was going to pull his weight around the house.  Fix things.  Do dishes.  Make meals.  Do dishes.  Yard work.  Do dishes.

Early in fall, we traded in our older used van for two newer, smaller vehicles, and as we sat in the dealership in the midst of negotiations and in between test drives, Eric said, “I think I could sell cars.”  He even went for coffee with our salesman (an old friend of Eric’s from college) to talk about selling cars. 

On a cold late December day, had we been able to find the block heater cord for the Ford Escape when three of us had looked for it, Eric wouldn’t have searched up the number for the dealership, and may not have seen the ad Birchwood Ford placed looking for salespeople.  He went down to the dealership right away, and wouldn’t you know it, that block heater cord was front and centre and in plain view.  Except none of us had seen it.   I interpret those events as God’s hand at work.  Not only did we find the block heater cord that day, a seed of hope grew, and a new resume was written.

Today was Eric’s first day of work at Birchwood Ford. So if you’re looking for a new or “pre-owned” vehicle, contact him and he’d love to get you behind the wheel of the right vehicle for you (shameless plug).  Or if you're in the market for a highway tractor (a big truck), we've got one of those to sell too.

My biggest fear when Eric came home with the news that his contract had been cancelled, was that his already fragile emotional state would shatter completely.   During his many years of living with major depression, he has always assured me that he has never made a plan to end his life, but I wondered if this blow would be the thing that pushed him over the edge.  

I have been praying for Eric and his emotional well-being for a long time; most of our 26 ½ years of married life.   After a number of years, my prayer was whittled down to “Help!” and “How long?”  I don’t know how often I prayed this Psalm:

Psalm 13
¹ O Lord, how long will you forget me (Eric)? Forever?
    How long will you look the other way?
² How long must I (Eric) struggle with anguish in my (his) soul,
    with sorrow in my (his) heart every day?
    How long will my (his) enemy have the upper hand?
³ Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
    Restore the sparkle to my (his) eyes, or I will die.
⁴ Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”
    Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.
⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love.
    I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
⁶ I will sing to the Lord    because he is good to me.

Today’s “Daily Bread” devotional reading was from Luke 18 which tells the parable of the persistent widow.  In the parable, the widow goes to the judge repeatedly asking for justice.  After awhile the judge grants her request just to get her out of his hair because she's driving him nuts.  Luke 18:1 sums up the reason for the parable:  “One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up.”  Always pray. Never give up.

I’ve had seasons where I have felt like I was praying without ceasing, but I couldn’t see any answers.  Nothing seemed to change.  How long, O Lord?  Always pray.  Never give up.

I’ve been so encouraged in the last 6 weeks.  It’s not been easy, but I’ve been able to see where God has worked to bring a measure of wellness to Eric’s emotional health.  I’m not saying he’ll never be depressed again, but I am so proud of him for how he has handled the ups and downs of life lately.  15, or even 10 years ago, he would have climbed in bed and just stayed there for at least a week. 

Always pray. Never give up.  Because sometimes life sucks.  But God is good.  The end.

But I trust in your unfailing love.

    I will rejoice because you have rescued me.

 I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.