The past month has
certainly been an interesting one for me and my family. I have lived with headaches most of my life
and have become accustomed to having a mild headache most days. But in the last month, my headache seemed to
intensify. At one point I left work
early and actually called in sick to the office for two days. I told my husband that I’m not a very good
sick person. He replied: “You need more practice.” I’m not this sick very often.
On my sick days, I
basically lay in bed except to get up to go and see the doctor. I didn’t eat much because I couldn’t keep
anything down. I thought it was perhaps
a sinus infection, but the doctor I saw at the walk-in clinic the previous week
didn’t think so and said it was likely just sinus pressure. When I got in to see my regular doctor, she
was a bit mystified and sent me for a nasal x-ray, bloodwork and requisitioned a
CT scan for me.
In the midst of this,
I realized that me living with headaches is just a mild comparison to my
husband living with major depression.
Every day he fights to get out of bed and function. Every day I take an Aleve. I think I’ve got it a bit easier.
This realization was a
reminder for me to constantly be mindful of my husband and where he’s at emotionally, and
to have grace for him to be in that space. I have to admit that sometimes
that’s not easy to do and I often feel like I fail miserably.
I’m fairly certain my
husband knows that I want him around for a long time, and I certainly appreciated
that he was here for me this past weekend.
I received a phone
call last week letting me know that I had been booked in for a CT scan on
Saturday morning. My husband dropped me
off at the hospital for the scan and while he continued on to Costco to shop
for the things on my list, I went in for my scan, fully expecting to be done in
time to be picked up on my husband’s way home from Costco. Easy peasy.
Instead, when my CT
scan was done, I was told they were going to be admitting me to the hospital
and running further tests, and of course the technician couldn’t tell me
anything. There was something abnormal in my CT scan and further tests needed to be
done to determine what the issue was.
According to the
report of my scan, the possibilities were:
Door No. 1: an aneurysm
Door No. 2: cancer
Door No. 3: high blood pressure
Since I've never had an issue with high blood pressure, that kind of left Doors No. 1 and 2. Can I have a different
door? Is there a Door No. 4?
Note to self: Before a CT scan, maybe don’t joke with your
boss about not coming in to work the following Monday because of a brain tumor …
The long and short of
the next 7 hours of the day were that I was transported from one hospital to
another hospital where I had a CT angiogram with dye, as well as an MRi with
dye, and then spent more time waiting to speak with the emergency doctor
as well as a neurologist.
My recurring mantra
throughout the day when I was put on a bed with machines around my head, trying
to stay perfectly still and relaxed, was a continual repetition of “Jesus, You
are my Rock”. Whatever the prospect of
what the results would be and what was ahead, I clung to my faith and the truth of
who Jesus is for me. He is my Rock.
We met with a
neurology resident at the end of the day, and I felt like I got my Door No.
4. According to the neurologist, I have
a cavernoma, which is a cluster of abnormal, dilated vessels that kind of
resemble a raspberry. I'm not sure I'll ever look at a raspberry in the same way. My first CT scan
of the day indicated that the cavernoma was approximately 2.2 x 2.0 cm and had
hemorrhaged, with surrounding edema or swelling. As far as I understand, the hemorrhage would
have been the cause of my headache.
If I had to list the
positives for the day, they would be:
- Eric was still home and was able to be with me the whole day (even took the ride in the ambulance with me from one hospital to the other)
- It was a fairly quiet day at Health Sciences Centre and we only saw one person taken away by police in handcuffs, and one person taken away by police to give a statement, and only one patient trying to escape treatment that security had to track down and haul back (imagine some loud, colourful language and you pretty much get that picture!).
- The results gave a better outcome than we were initially given; I got my Door No. 4!
- According to the neurologist, cavernomas are predictable and low risk. Since my symptoms are finally improving, it would seem that the acute stage of the hemorrhage has subsided
- Because of the results, there was nothing urgent that needed to be done neurologically and I was discharged from the hospital and allowed to go home … and finally have something to eat and drink!
- When you see your nurse has a Mennonite last name and you start to play the “Mennonite Name Game” and you discover that his wife is from the same city in Ontario that I grew up in, and from the same church, and I know who her parents are, and his father-in-law’s sister is married to my brother-in-law’s brother … and this nurse happens to have been a friend of my nephew since they were little ... this made me smile
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